Most of us live with voice mail as a necessary part of our lives. Have you ever wondered what it would be like if God decided to install voice mail?
? Thank you for calling heaven.
? For English, press 1; for French, press 2; for all other languages, press 3. ? Please select one of the following options: Press 1 for request; press 2 for thanksgiving; press 3 or complaints; press 4 for all others.
? I am sorry, all our Angels and Saints are busy helping other sinners right now. However, your prayer is important to us and we will answer it in the order it was received. Please stay on the line.
? If you would like to speak to: God, press 1; Jesus, press 2; the Holy Spirit, press 3. ? To find a loved one that has been assigned to heaven press 5, then enter his social security number, followed by the # key. If you receive a negative response, please hang up and dial 666.
? For reservations to heaven, please enter JOHN followed by the numbers, 3 16. ? For answers to nagging questions about dinosaurs, life and other planets, please wait until you arrive in heaven for the specifics.
? The office is now closed for the weekend to observe a religious holiday. Our computers show that you have already been prayed for today, please hang up and call again Monday. If you are calling after hours and need emergency assistance, please contact your local minister. Thank you and have a heavenly day.
If God had voice mail