All things bright and beautiful,
All creatures great and small,
All things wise and wonderful,
The Lord God made them all.
But what we never mention, though gardeners know it’s true,
Is when He made the goodies, He made the baddies too.
All things spray and swattable,
Disasters great and small,
All things paraquatable,
The Lord God made them all.
The green fly on the roses, the maggots in the peas,
Manure that fills our noses, He also gave us these.
All things spray and swattable, etc.
The fungus on the goose-gogs, the club root on the greens,
The slugs that eat the lettuce and chew the aubergines.
All things spray and swattable, etc.
The drought that kills the fuchsias, the frost that nips the buds,
The rain that drowns the seedlings, the blight that hits the spuds.
All things spray and swattable, etc.
The midges and mosquitoes, the nettles and the weeds,
The pigeons in the green stuff, the sparrows on the seeds.
All things spray and swattable, etc.
The fly that gets the carrots, the wasp that eats the plums,
How black the gardener’s outlook, though green may be his thumbs.
All things spray and swattable, etc.
But still we gardeners labour midst vegetables and flowers,
And pray what hits our neighbours’ will somehow bypass ours.
All things spray and swattable, etc.
© Barbara Robinson
The gardeners’ hymn