Sermon at Choral Evensong to mark the Diamond Wedding of Handley and Anne Stevens and Charles and Gill Perrin
St John-at-Hampstead, 3rd May 2026
It is an enormous joy and honour to have been invited to preach at Evensong here tonight, as we give thanks to God for all his good gifts, and in particular for the wonderful, touching and impressive feat of not just one, but two marriages which have withstood all the tests of time to reach a Diamond celebration, sixty years on.
I am very grateful to Mthr Carol for the privilege of her pulpit, and we all five much appreciate her understanding in allowing the Stevens and the Perrins to select readings in place of the rather less accessible texts prescribed by the Lectionary for this evening!
It should perhaps be said that in the modern marriage service, couples are strongly encouraged to choose their own readings, so as to reflect on and to communicate something of what they believe, and of what they hope will form the basis of their married life together under God.
In the 1960s, the Prayer Book marriage service was less flexible, so it is very special that Handley and Anne and Charles and Gill have had this opportunity sixty years later.
Their choice of readings, alongside the wonderful range of music we are hearing tonight, tells us a great deal about the Christian faith which has sustained and inspired them in their lives
together.
Sixty years ago, anyone present would have heard these couples promise to take one another “to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse: for richer, for poorer; in sickness and in health; to love and to cherish, till death us do part”.
These vows recognise that even the most loving of marriages are not simply fairy tales, but that any lifelong commitment requires dedication, mutual support, compromise, and sometimes hard work as we walk with our partner through the happiest and the darkest of times.
Wisdom and understanding will also play their part, as we heard in our first reading, as well as the gentleness described by Paul in his Epistle to the Philippians.
But what shines from every element of this service, from the reading and hymns to the very desire to give thanks to God in this place for the relationships we are celebrating tonight, is that depth of faith which truly underpins the couples’ lives and their marriages.
Music, as we know, has played an essential part in the lives and in the faith of both the Stevens and the Perrins, and the message conveyed by the music tonight is every bit as important as the passages from Scripture.
The lovely setting by Geoffrey Webber, commissioned especially for tonight, of that wonderful George Herbert poem, reminds us of the ongoing nature of faith, which should permeate every moment and every action:
Teach me, my God and King, in all things Thee to see; And what I do in anything to do it as for Thee.
Our final hymn will begin:
All my hope on God is founded, he doth still my trust renew. Me through change and chance he guideth, only good and only true.
Deep faith rejoices in God – our Psalm reminded us that “it is a good thing to sing praises unto our God”, and the Purcell anthem urges us to “Rejoice in the Lord always”.
Faith also sees God’s hand at work in his sustaining and compassionate love:
“He healeth those that are broken in heart : and giveth medicine to heal their sickness.”
And, whatever faces us, the Psalm ends, The Lord’s delight is in them that fear him: and put their trust in his mercy.
All of us can take inspiration from these teachings and examples of Christian faith and living, as we also remember that marriage is not only a question of supporting one another and nurturing one’s own family.
The preface to the modern marriage service tells us that
Marriage enriches society and strengthens community.
At its very best, it is not simply inward looking, but a couple will stand together and face out into the world, sharing their faith, hope and love with others.
When we marry, we are joined, not simply with one person, but with their whole world, their families, their friends, their colleagues and acquaintances.
Few of you may be aware, for example that Charles Perrin’s godfather was also my grandfather, and that in marrying Charles, Gill also became linked with members of my family!
In the birth of children and grandchildren, in the example set by those who live together for better, for worse, through joy and sorrow, facing everything together with faith, we can see a microcosm for our relations with the wider world, and I know that I for one have been deeply touched by the faith I have seen lived out in both marriages we celebrate today.
As we look beyond individual relationships towards relations with all of God’s people, we are reminded that much has happened over the past sixty years, not simply in the lives of the Perrins and the Stevens, but in the world we inhabit.
We watch, perhaps with anxiety, changes to the world order which has sustained us peacefully over the decades since the Second World War and ask what the future holds.
On Thursday I attended an Evening of Prayer for the Middle East in the Roman Catholic church in my parish.
There, a speaker involved in current negotiations challenged us to have the courage to speak out boldly and faithfully in opposition to those things which cause division, hatred and violence; and to extol the virtues of wisdom, prudence, justice and gentleness emphasised by tonight’s readings.
There is no doubt that these virtues underpin a successful marriage or lifelong commitment; they lie also at the heart of our Christian faith, and of Christ’s teaching for the world.
Paul encourages us to take account of whatever is true, honourable, just, pure, pleasing or commendable; the writer of Proverbs urges us to “walk blamelessly, guarding the paths of justice.”
We place our faith in God, and we praise him at every turn for his goodness to us.
But Scripture reminds us that, as in marriage, we have a part to play in working at wisdom, understanding, justice and gentleness, in order to bring to the world, as well as to our personal relationships, the blessings of God’s peace.
As we give thanks this evening for Handley and Anne, for Charles and Gill, for their commitment to one another built on a faith sustained by praise and thanksgiving, may we also pledge ourselves to work for a world in which our faith becomes a channel through which God’s love and peace may be shared with all.
Amen