Drawing mainly on Paul’s letter to the Philippians, I want to explore a theology of ageing. Now that more and more of us live longer lives, we need to think in more depth about what it means not just to grow old in years, but to grow old in the Christian life. We need a theology of ageing if we are to understand and cope with ageing in the light of our belief in God.
The Roman philosopher Seneca said: “I shall not abandon old age, if old age preserves me intact as regards the better part of myself; but if old age begins to shatter my mind, if it leaves me, not life, but only the breath of life, I shall leap from a building that is crumbling and tottering.” As Christians, most of us would be uneasy about travelling to Switzerland to take such a leap, but we recognise his fear of a life which might in the end be a burden to ourselves and perhaps to others.
Contemporary sociology identifies four ages – childhood and growing up, adult life, a third age of life in active retirement, and a fourth age of decline into senility and death. For many of us the third age is rather enjoyable. We no longer have to go to work, but so long as we are fortunate enough to enjoy reasonable health and mobility, and enough money to get by, we are free to divide our time between family commitments, leisure activities and voluntary service of one kind or another. Finding the right balance may be a challenge, but it is not totally different from our earlier adult experience. Above all, we are still contributors. We are still able to give expression to our love for God and for our neighbour by engaging in acts of service within our communities, which establish and buttress our own sense of self-worth, as well as being genuinely helpful to others.
The greater challenge arises as we move into the fourth age, where we may experience chronic illness, limited mobility, the progressive erosion not just of memory but of cognitive ability, increasing frailty of mind and body, the onset of anxiety and vulnerability, the sense of isolation and despair that accompanies the death of so many of our closest friends. The general ethos of our society expects us to fight the decline into old age, and that’s no bad thing in itself, but when the battle can no longer be won, the expectation that we should fight against getting old risks adding a sense of guilt and failure to what is already an uncomfortable process. How then might our faith illuminate the gathering darkness of a world in which it may feel as if the lights are being switched off in one room after another?
In Paul’s valedictory message to the elders of the church at Ephesus, recorded by Luke in Acts chapter 20, the apostle reminds them of the words of the Lord Jesus, who said ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive’. This had been his own experience of life on the front line of active missionary service, but it was soon to change. Charged with defiling the temple by bringing into it a Greek called Trophimus, he exercised his right as a Roman citizen to appeal to the Emperor, and was sent as a prisoner to Rome. He could no longer give himself in active service. He had to give up his plan to carry the gospel to Spain. As a prisoner he was dependent on the help of others to look after him, and to carry his messages to the churches he had founded. In his letter to the Philippians, we see from the generous terms in which he writes about Epaphroditus, ‘my brother and co-worker and fellow soldier, your messenger and minister to my need’, how much he has learned about the grace not just of giving but of receiving (Phil 2.25). Paul sets us a good example. As we get older and need more help, we should not be ashamed to receive it from others with grace and gratitude.
In the same epistle Paul writes of the ‘surpassing value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord’ (Phil 3.7). The tireless traveller, tent-maker, preacher, pastor, has gone on a new journey into an ever deeper fellowship with Christ Jesus, and what he has learned about Christ puts into the shade all the achievements of his busy missionary life, as well as his high status as Roman citizen, Pharisee, zealous apostle. The shift from busy doing to passionate being has been all gain, he says – and we can learn from that too. There is, I believe, a grace about knowing when to let go of the activities which have defined our identity, and given us confidence in our self-worth. What Paul is saying is that in his experience that worldly sense of identity can be replaced and indeed surpassed by the quiet assurance which comes from knowing that we are loved and valued by Christ Jesus our Lord, not for what we do but for who we truly are. When I look at old photo albums, or reflect on the trajectory of my career and personal circumstances, I can see all too well how much I have changed, but when I think about who I am, I sense that in myself the true Handley Stevens, who is known to Jesus Christ, who is – I trust – being gently shaped by his love, is someone whose characteristic identity would be recognised by those who knew me when I was 10 years old, or 40 years old or indeed 74 years old, as I shall be to-morrow.
So, as we grow older, the balance shifts from giving to receiving and from doing to being. A third prize which Paul holds out to us in his letter to the Philippians, is our citizenship of heaven (Phil 3.20). We don’t have to wait till we get there. We are already citizens of heaven. Here on earth we can begin to learn the language. We can even breathe the air of heaven, which is infused with love. But if we are to take part in the worship of heaven, we must first prepare ourselves by seeking reconciliation with any whom we may have hurt or offended – as our Lord himself required us to do (Matt 5.23/24).
Rejoice in the Lord always, Paul continues, as he draws his letter to a close. If we have sought such reconciliation, we shall be ready here on earth to anticipate our participation in the life of heaven with joyful praise and prayer, and the peace of God which surpasses all understanding will keep our hearts and minds in Christ Jesus (Phil. 4.4-7).
Perhaps a theology of ageing should be seen as a theology of preparation for citizenship, a theology which celebrates receiving as much as giving, a theology which values being as much as doing, a theology which anticipates the heavenly life of joyful praise and prayer, a theology which brings us peace.